An Interview with Catholic Fiction

I recently had the opportunity to answer questions from the great folks at Catholic Fiction. The interview was fun and thought-provoking! It can be found here:

http://catholicfiction.net/faith-and-struggle-and-truth-an-interview-with-catholic-novelist-cheryl-dickow/

Lousy Godparents

You’ve been poorly catechized and didn’t really understand the role of a Godparent for your newborn baby and so you gave this honor to your best-friend-since-3^rd-grade. It made sense at the time and you both giggled and loved the whole idea of it. Now, years later, you no longer speak to your best-friend-since-3^rd-grade. You’ve come to regret this poor choice—in a very big way—and don’t know what to do about the lousy Godparent you chose.

You have been blessed by faith-filled parents and have been living your faith in a constant manner for as long as you can remember. Bestowing the honor of Godparent upon your cousin was a good choice. After all, she’s family and your lives have the blood connection that will stand the test of time. A few years later you see that she didn’t really get how important this honor was and has really failed. She apparently didn’t read up on the “job” description and now your daughter is burdened with a lousy Godparent. And your daughter sees this at every family Christmas where other Godparents give their Godchildren gifts and hugs and special attention and your daughter gets nothing. Nada. What do you do?

The fact is, most of us are somewhere in the middle when it comes to selecting Godparents for our children. We get that it is an honor and we know it is somewhat important. (And the people we ask probably get it to a degree, too.) Since we can’t predict the future, we do our best and ask the person we feel would be best suited for the role—and he or she accepts—all without anyone necessarily understanding the entirety of the Godparent moniker. I inquired of a friend, a faith-filled practicing Catholic and the mother of a rather large brood, if she was “happy” with her choices of Godparents. Without skipping a beat she replied, “Nope.”

So what is the role of a Godparent in the Catholic faith? To answer this I asked my own Pastor who is always so generous with his time whenever I am trying to get to the bottom of this or that question about our faith. Father’s answer easily sums up the “official” and “unofficial” roles of a Godparent:

“The “official” role of a godparent is to be a religious or spiritual example for the child. They are also the official witness of what is taking place.  Unofficially a godparent is supposed to be a loving presence in the life of the child.  I often tell folks at baptism that it is through the love of a godparent and grandparent that a child learns unconditional love.  Mommy and Daddy have to say “no” but a grandparent or godparent doesn’t have too.”

The first line really had an impression upon me: …to be a religious or spiritual example for the child. This is so clear cut. It should become the litmus test for each time we choose a Godparent. It isn’t meant to be an indictment of the possible Godparent, but forces us to look at whomever we are considering for this important role through the eyes of the young person to whom they ought to be a “religious or spiritual” example. I really, really like the words used here: religious or spiritual example.

It doesn’t mean we must seek out someone who goes to daily Mass (although there isn’t anything wrong with that!) but rather we should find someone whose countenance is loving, selfless, and kind: an embodiment of Christ. If we’ve experienced them in this way, we can count on them fulfilling their role as Godparent as they should. As Father then says, they officially witness what takes place at the baptism which is the Sacrament of Initiation.

Father’s brief explanation continues to impress upon me the role of a Godparent:…be a loving presence. In other words, be a presence. Again the words are important. What does it mean to be a “presence” in a child’s life? It means remembering birthdays, graduations, basketball games, acknowledging successes and offering encouragement in difficult times. “Be a loving presence” is as clear as “be a religious or spiritual example.” If we’ve witnessed that this person, this potential Godparent, has been a loving presence to others, chances are he or she will be that same sort of loving presence to our child—his or her Godchild.

As Father continues and mentions the “unconditional” love that a Godparent shows a Godchild, we again see that for this to occur they have to be a “presence” in the child’s life. Does this mean they must live around the corner? No. Especially with all the ways in which people can stay connected nowadays, we can select a Godparent who lives near or far; in the end what matters is that the Godparent must choose to be “present” in their Godchild’s life.

So we missed the boat and are stuck with lousy Godparents. Can we do anything?

No…and yes.

No we can’t re-baptize our children and pick new, better, more-improved Godparents.

No we can’t change their status or demote them because they were the witness to this incredible event in our child’s life.  

But we can make sure that our children have other people in their lives that fill the role of Godparents—just without the official title. “Foster” Godparents, if you will. We can also make a concerted effort to be a religious or spiritual example to our children and to practice more unconditional love towards them. If we feel something is lacking in our children’s lives because of their lousy Godparents, then chances are we are up to the task of all this!

And it makes perfect sense if our children are a bit older to even share the role of Godparents and let them know that while their own Godparent(s) may have missed the mark (it is probably best not to use the word “lousy” when talking with our kids), their baptism was a joyous day in the life of the Kingdom of God! Help them focus on the day of their baptism. This is particularly important if, within a family, you have one child whose Godparents are especially lousy and some of your other children have exceptional Godparents. Kids should never think they somehow failed to “earn” or “deserve” a Godparent’s love or interest. (On the other hand, if you’ve been given the honor of being a Godparent and have not lived up to the responsibility and the privilege, it is never too late to start.)

We can and should pray for the Godparent(s) we have chosen, especially the lousy ones. At some point we thought they were the best candidate for the job and although we now know better, it would be a beneficial experience for us to offer up our sorrow and sadness for their sanctification. While there may not be earthly rewards for such an exercise in humility, the eternal rewards might be significant—for us and for them!

Cheryl Dickow

www.BezalelBooks.com

The illustration used is from the children's book "Where Do Deacons Come From?" written by Elizabeth Ficocelli and illustrated by Shannon Wirrenga

Magic Words

We’ve been told they are “magic” words.

A few simple words uttered with sincerity that can actually make all the difference. They can really be magical.

Please.

Thank you.

The weight that each carries is immense; implies so much.

Please: I trust that you hear me. I believe that you care enough to consider what I’m about to say. My faith is such that you can alter something for me. You, to whom I am speaking (or writing), have a power that I am asking to use. The ability to make an important difference in my life is in your hands.

Thank you: You have made a significant difference for me. You cared enough about me to do something important for me. I am so grateful to you. My life is better because of you. The time you gave to me for this mattered—maybe more than you can ever know.

Wow, right?

In 2014 let us all consider how easy it is to spread a little magic and truly make the world a better place.

Thank you!

Cheryl Dickow

www.BezalelBooks.com

Picture: © Robwilson39 | Dreamstime.com

The Best Books You HAVEN'T Read Now Less Than $5

I've found some great new shows to watch whenever I read the tv guide's yearly "The Best Shows You Aren't Watching" article.

And since I've been invited to guest on a number of radio programs this January to talk about great reading during the winter months, I thought that with a "twist" it was a great way to offer some books definitely worth reading for anyone's budget.

I'll be talking about....

The best historical fiction you may not have read: The Green Coat: A Tale from the Dust Bowl Years by Rosemary McDunn which is just $2.99 on Kindle! Perfect for all ages. Really!

http://www.amazon.com/Green-Coat-Tale-Dust-Years-ebook/dp/B005KLSL28/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389006390&sr=8-1&keywords=green+coat+mcdunn

Then there's Joan L. Kelly's Hiding the Stranger: The Trilogy which has received the prestigious Catholic Writer's Guild Seal of Approval. A great book for the kids and easy on the budget at $2.99!

http://www.amazon.com/Hiding-Stranger-Trilogy-Joan-Kelly-ebook/dp/B009G4B51Y/ref=sr_1_1_bnp_1_kin?ie=UTF8&qid=1389006636&sr=8-1&keywords=joan+kelly+trilogy

Another Catholic Writer's Guild Seal of Approval recipient is a book for teens and women alike. It is Laura Pearl's Finding Grace and is now just $4.99.

http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Womens-Inspirational-Christian-Fiction-ebook/dp/B008VGY2CM/ref=sr_1_1_bnp_1_kin?ie=UTF8&qid=1389006704&sr=8-1&keywords=laura+pearl+grace

One that I will re-read again this winter is The Story of Peace by Miriam Ezeh. It has been called a book "that should be made into a movie" and rightly so! At just $2.99 it is perfect for mom and teen daughters or grandaughters.

http://www.amazon.com/Story-Womens-Inspirational-Christian-Fiction-ebook/dp/B005R1ZASO/ref=sr_1_1_bnp_1_kin?ie=UTF8&qid=1389006771&sr=8-1&keywords=miriam+ezeh

Happy reading...and Happy New Year from us to you!

Even More, God Is Our Mother

I don’t really follow Pope Francis; however, as a Catholic I certainly regard the pope with the respect and honor due his position as successor to Peter.

What I do read about him, I tend to get from my friends. He seems to be loved or hated and certainly has made people sit up and take notice.

I also don’t watch the news in general or read much on the Internet—secular, Catholic or otherwise. I am not on Facebook and I don’t do Twitter. I’ve made a conscious effort in the past couple of years to purposely reduce the chaos of the world by limiting my exposure to it so that my own world now feels purer and a whole lot more peaceful.

Amidst that peace, I’ve recently begun researching “Sophia” for my third and final fiction book in a series that started with Elizabeth: A Holy Land Pilgrimage. I share this because my research about this seemingly elusive, somewhat mystical, and definitely female Sophia/Wisdom/Mother keeps crossing paths with what I’ve read about Pope Francis. Francis continues to enter into my quiet world in a calm, wise, even motherly sort of way.

Let me explain.

At her essence, Sophia is the wisdom that runs throughout Scripture—yet that small acknowledgement leaves so much to be desired. King Solomon sought her and was richly rewarded; Hildegard of Bingen sang her praises; Mother Julian of Norwich wrote about her when she said that God is both our Father and our Mother. Echoing this mystical sentiment, Sophia was given passing credit in 1978 by John Paul I when he made an astonishing reference to the idea of divine motherhood. In a Sunday St. Peter’s Square address he said, “God is our Father; even more God is our Mother.”

Even more, God is our Mother.

It was a profound, brave statement; one that did not get the attention it deserved. One that wasn’t unpacked and contemplated like it should have been.

As I research Sophia, I can’t help but see Pope Francis as the possible embodiment of her. I keep reflecting on what I am learning about Sophia and the prophetic words of John Paul I: …even more God is our Mother.

Lacking the language to flesh out the idea of “God is our Mother,” we can still begin to see how Pope Francis may well be the prophetic fulfillment. In Pope Francis we see the possibility that “God is our Mother” is a truth whose time has possibly come. Is Pope Francis ushering in the manifestation of Sophia—the groundwork that was laid by Christian mystics and more concretely captured when John Paul I said “even more God is our Mother?”

I even marvel at the pope’s name which is both masculine and feminine.

The words and actions of Pope Francis in light of the “God is our Mother”possibility make us contemplate important questions: What is a mother if not a healer of relationships and a pursuer of righteousness for all? Isn’t the ideal mother one who wishes all her children to be in harmony? Does a mother not run to those most in need? Will a loving mother not admonish her children to be kind and prudent in their words and in their deeds?

Is it not in a mother’s nature to create a home where the spirit of the law prevails? She doesn’t throw out the letter of the law but her heart always reflects the spirit of it.

Indeed, we know that a mother is more apt to speak from her heart instead of her head. When she does, her words are not diluted by too much reason for they erupt from the love she has for her children. Often, she is raw emotion responding to the meekest and most in need. She reaches out to all from the depths of her compassion; everything she says and does is wrapped in concern, passion and love.

Sophia, Wisdom, Mother—known by so many names—is one of them Pope Francis?

 

Cheryl Dickow

www.bezalelbooks.com

(picture © Hakan Ertan | Dreamstime.com)

Have Your Goals Overtaken Your Life?

Where do you see yourself in five years?

In ten?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

If you win the lottery what would you do?

We get asked—and ask ourselves—lots of goal-oriented questions. It might be in a classroom or in a job interview. Wherever it is—or whatever causes us to identify goals—we find that we are always looking ahead. We vow to lose ten pounds and fit into a cherished pair of pants. We save our pennies for a new couch or a necklace.

Looking ahead can be a good thing; it can motivate us and keep us going forward. On the other hand, becoming too focused on a goal easily makes us lose sight of the journey itself—an important part of any achievement.

As the New Year approaches, we may feel we’ve failed because our hopes or thoughts for the year that just passed didn’t materialize; but if we’ve enjoyed the journey, there won’t be the sting of failure. Reproaches won’t haunt us if we found joy in our day-to-day living.

When I taught parochial middle school there was a home on my daily route to work that was in perpetual construction. At first it was an addition off the back. Then it was a large front porch. One summer it was a paved garden area and a gazebo. Another time it was a garage. This went on for many seasons; for many years. More than a few times, as I would pass the home, I would see the homeowner standing back and admiring his work. It seemed odd to me because the entire project was never done yet you could clearly see by his stance that he had a real sense of pride in what he was seeing.

A few weeks ago, when I drove past that home and saw that yet another new project was underway, I saw it with his eyes—and with a real Christmas epiphany. Here was this home, fifteen years later, still under construction, covered in Christmas lights! The man is much older now—as am I—and is still making choices to work on his house; and yet that work doesn’t seem to be a burden to him. He isn’t in a hurry. He didn’t need his home to be completely finished before adorning it with Christmas lights. It wasn’t about the final project but about the journey.

As this year closes and a new one dawns, the image of this man’s home will remain with me as an important reminder that even while my life often feels “under construction”it is important to step back and be proud of the progress!

Cheryl Dickow
www.BezalelBooks.com

Picture: © Skovoroda | Dreamstime.com

Free Kindle Books for Amazon Prime Customers

If you are looking for a great deal this Christmas, you can't beat free!

For a limited time we are offering a few of our titles for free to Amazon Kindle Prime customers. If you've been wanting to read Our Jewish Roots: A Catholic Woman's Guide To Fulfillment, now might be the time to get it for yourself or give it this Christmas.

It is currently ranked on Amazon:

#49 in Books > Christian Books & Bibles > Catholicism > Self Help

Another favorite for the tween or teen boy in your family, All Things Guy: A Guide To Becoming a Man that Matters is also free for Amazon Prime Kindle.

Merry Christmas!
Cheryl
www.bezalelbooks.com