Bad Reviews are Good for the Soul

I vividly recall the first really negative review I received on a book. It was for a particular title in the All Things Girl series and the young person who wrote it was fairly scathing in what she said. She identified herself as one of three sisters who ranged in age from 10 to 15. She went on to post her review on all the books.

I will freely admit that her words brought tears to my eyes.

Two months later, BAM! Another terrible review.

I was reeling from it all. To make matters worse, scores of people were saying how helpful the two terrible reviews were. No one was coming to my defense. Words can’t explain how alone I felt—and utterly defeated in my attempt at serving God’s precious daughters.

And confused…I had prayed each and every time that I had worked on the books. Throughout long days and nights my prayers stormed heaven; I prayed to the Father that every young girl who read the books would be blessed by them; that these books would be instruments of God’s love for his young daughters. All Things Girl was, for me, a series of books for girls who had become so real to me that I loved them all without even knowing them; it was a series to which I had given years of my life.

So to say that these two reviews were important to me is quite an understatement. I took them very, very seriously—not only as a Catholic publisher, but as an adult woman seeking to grow in holiness and charity. I wanted to contribute to the kingdom, not detract from it! I wanted to follow God’s will for my life.

When we seek to grow in the ways of the Lord and to work for his kingdom, we aren’t always handed over to loving, kind or charitable people. We don’t often find ourselves at once surrounded by goodness and kindness. More often than not, when we make a purposeful effort to turn ourselves over to God we might immediately notice that things seem to get worse, not better!

Am I, right? What’s up with that anyhow?

I was working for God, wasn’t it all going to be wonderful and perfect and perfectly awesome?

Of course now I see it couldn’t be any other way. God had work to do with me and those reviews brought me to my knees in pain and hurt and rejection—and, as it turned out, it was a perfectly awesome place for God to start his holy work.

Years later, I love to go look at those reviews because I know they contributed to my own spiritual maturity. It wasn’t easy and I absolutely would have preferred growing in a less painful way; but I get it.

Reviews are important to my business and I think people should review books with honesty and integrity. Let’s face it, nothing is worse than reading a bunch of great reviews only to find a book is nice or okay but definitely not great. So reviews should be truthful. But in the long run, for authors and writers and publishers, reviews can prove to be an interesting instrument of sanctification.

I have come to understand that in my line of work, reviews have a two-fold purpose. Partly they help sell books but I know that the far more important aspect is that they have allowed me to embrace a new level of God’s grace. Each review—good or bad, nasty or nice—is an opportunity to turn to God and see how it can be used for my sanctification and for God’s kingdom.

I had to laugh when I recently read a review on another book we have called All Things Guy: A Guide to Becoming a Man that Matters. The reviewer wrote: “I thought this book was going to be a comedy style book, which it is not. This book is all about believing in the bible and a Higher Power and what not. You do not have to believe in a Higher Power to be a good person. Why some people believe in this crap is beyond me.”

Reading that review I realized that God is still working with me but I was also happy to recognize that He and I have journeyed far together—crap and all!

Cheryl Dickow

www.BezalelBooks.com

YOGA: What's So Bad About Feeling Good?

I’ve always had some sort of exercise routine—even if it wasn’t much of a “routine,”per se.

Eating well and staying fit has been part of my life more out of necessity than desire. It rises from chronic illness rather than vanity. The catalyst for me “working out” has been my calling to live out my vocation as wife and mother and never how I look in a bathing suit.

In fact, I use the term “working out” rather loosely since the same chronic illness that requires me to monitor my bodily well-being hinders my ability to really drill down and push myself to any physical limits. It’s not that I haven’t tried. I have—but there are always severe consequences. So I’ve had to find that balance between “working out” and not killing myself in the process.

Enter yoga.

Or the idea of yoga.

The appeal of the gentle movements and stretching of yoga really drew me in as I searched for the perfect exercise routine that would tend to my body but wouldn’t break me, and so I began researching it. I am a fairly grounded Christian but it was easy for me to see—rather quickly—that as a Catholic, yoga was a practice that I couldn’t or wouldn’t engage in. But a lot of Catholics do practice yoga. Each side—those Catholics who practice yoga and those who don’t—can make its case rather successfully. However, I found some points against yoga for Catholics to be noteworthy and determining.

For instance, this is from the Hindu American Foundation:

“Yoga is a combination of both physical and spiritual exercises, entails mastery over the body, mind and emotional self, and transcendence of desire. The ultimate goal is moksha, the attainment of liberation from worldly suffering and the cycle of birth and rebirth.”

As a Catholic the term “rebirth” in this excerpt should be very disconcerting. Catholics simply do not believe in rebirth. As Catholics we believe you are given one lifetime. You are baptized and will live your life as a believer in Christ as your Savior. You aren’t given multiple lives to work out your final destiny.

Additionally, Catholics “get” suffering. Maybe sometimes too much; but nonetheless, we don’t—as a group—run from suffering. We understand its redemptive value. While we may wish to be liberated from it and can certainly pursue that through Christ, we don’t see it as our “ultimate goal.” Our ultimate goal is to unite our lives with Christ, the Suffering Servant.

This is also from the Hindu American Foundation:

“There is the concerning trend of disassociating Yoga from its Hindu roots. Yet, even when Yoga is practiced solely in the form of an exercise, it cannot be completely delinked from its Hindu roots.”

Many yoga-practicing Catholics say, “Yes, yoga may be of a different religion but I believe in Christ so I will be fine.” However, the above statement should quickly negate that false sense of security. In essence it indicates that even if the person practicing yoga sees it only as exercise, he or she is mistaken—and sadly misguided—since yoga cannot be completely separated from its Hindu roots. We—as Catholics—don’t even have to understand the implication of what that statement means (that it can’t be completely delinked from its Hindu roots) for it to have relevance in our lives as Catholics. The statement in and of itself ought to give us pause.

To reiterate the importance of the link between practicing yoga and its Hindu roots, here is another statement from the Hindu American Foundation: “One does not have to profess faith in Hinduism in order to practice Yoga…Yoga is an essential part of Hindu philosophy and the two cannot be delinked, despite efforts to do so.”

These are things that should matter to Catholics. To be very clear: This isn’t an indictment against those who practice the Hindu faith; rather it is a reminder that those who practice the Catholic faith ought to be aware that even their exercise program is a facet of their faith journey.

Cheryl Dickow
www.BezalelBooks.com

Note: For Catholics interested in health and wellness Catholic style, The Rosary Workout by fitness expert, author and speaker Peggy Bowes is an excellent resource. www.RosaryWorkout.com

A Spirit Filled Life

At the request of Jesus, the Holy Spirit has been given to us. Do we really know what that means? What does a life lived in the spirit look like?


“But I tell you the truth, it is better for you that I go. For if I do not go, the Advocate will not come to you.” ~John 16:7


The Holy Spirit is supposed to be so significant in our lives that it is better than if Jesus were to be here, right now!


A life lived in the spirit is radically different. It is imbued with wisdom, grace, and virtue. It longs to do God’s will and live in accordance with His edicts—and is able to do so because it is under control of the Holy Spirit and does not follow selfish desires.


“And when he comes he will convict the world in regard to sin and righteousness and condemnation.” ~John 16:8


The Holy Spirit is a bit like electricity or gravity—you may not be able to understand or explain either of them but that doesn’t change their reality.


The truth is not subjective—it is objective. At the heart of the Holy Spirit’s work is this reality: God can be denied, ignored, and ridiculed; but come Judgment Day He cannot be avoided. The Holy Spirit calls us to live holy lives and provides the ability to do so and thus overcome the temptations of the world.


“The Spirit of truth, which the world cannot accept, because it neither sees nor knows it. But you know it, because it remains with you, and will be in you.” ~John 14:17


The clamor of the world may deafen the spirit of truth within but cannot drown it out.


Today may very well be the day the Holy Spirit seeks to be heard. Are we willing to listen?


“I have much more to tell you, but you cannot hear it now. But when he comes, the Spirit of truth, he will guide you to all truth.” ~John 16:12


Jesus had so much to teach but knew that in our frail human capacity, it would be too much. Imagine the treasures of Christ! When we are ready to explore those treasures, the Holy Spirit will be our guide. When we are ready to listen we will be overwhelmed by God’s love and the truths of His Son. This will all come from listening to the Holy Spirit who resides within—as promised.


“The Advocate, the holy Spirit that the Father will send in my name—he will teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you.” ~John 14:26


The Holy Spirit is the greatest teacher of all! He teaches the things that will lead to salvation and eternal life if only He has a willing student.


Today commit to being a student of the Holy Spirit and be forever changed!

Cheryl Dickow
www.BezalelBooks.com

A Daily Examination of Conscience: What Is It Exactly?

A simple examination of conscience helps build the moral life of a Catholic. It guides a Catholic towards holiness and sainthood. Like taking vitamins or brushing your teeth, it should be done daily!

 

Find a set time where you will have anywhere between 10 and 20 minutes of quiet and solitude. If possible, also find a specific location. This may be 10 minutes of quiet on your couch or it might be 20 minutes in a prayer corner on a prie dieu. No matter what, when you see this as a sacred responsibility, finding those few minutes each day will be easy.

 

An Examination of Conscience is about reviewing your day and seeing it through the eyes of Christ. It is about offering it up for objective examination where the fruit will be your spiritual growth and maturity. 

 

Have a number of questions to get yourself started but be willing to allow the Lord to speak to you and guide where the time goes. To create a list of questions, consider your daily life in a general sense and your vocation. For instance, a full-time mother may have a different set of questions than a woman who has no children. Ultimately your questions are about how you reacted in different circumstances. These aren’t meant to beat yourself up about, they are meant to help you grow as a disciple of Christ.

 

Begin with a short prayer. Try something like this:

 

"Father, I would like to spend a few minutes with you looking at my day. I want to live more fully in your light and love and ask that you help me do this so that my life is pleasing to you and serves you. I am grateful for the forgiveness you have given me in your son and desire to grow in holiness."

 

Here are some sample Examination of Conscience questions for a wife and mother of teenagers who works part-time outside of the home:

 

• How did I see God today in my co-workers?
• Did I respond to them as I should have?
• If I didn’t, why not? (you can ask God to help you with this if it is something you find yourself doing a lot)
• In what ways did I reflect that I am a beloved daughter of Christ today?
• If I didn’t, why didn’t I? (does God need to help me accept his love and forgiveness?)
• If I did, how did that deepen my own relationship with Christ?
• Did I find time to pray today?
• If not, what stopped me? Was my time well spent today?
• If I did, how did I grow with God as a result of that prayer time?
• Did I find time to read today’s Gospel?
• If not, what stopped me? Was my time well spent today?
• If I did, how did I grow with God as a result of that time in the Word?
• Did I lovingly attend to the duties of my vocation?
• If not…
• If so…
• How will I invite God into my day tomorrow?

 A true Examination of Conscience is always objective. It doesn’t encourage you to determine truths based upon your own feelings, rather it asks you to see your day through the life and teachings of Christ so that you can grown into the sainthood to which we are all invited.

 

Cheryl Dickow

www.BezalelBooks.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Talking Catholic Fiction with Marcus Grodi

How many books have you read in the past year or so? (This doesn’t count the ones that you started but did not finish and now languish on a shelf gathering dust.)

 I’m talking about books that you have read cover to cover.

That may reduce the number by as much as half if you are anything like most people—so don’t feel bad!

 And of those books, how many are Catholic fiction? 

So now the question is: How many Catholic fiction books have you read in the past year or so from cover to cover?

 Sadly, the odds of an adult Catholic reading a Catholic fiction book are pretty miniscule—especially on a consistent basis. I know this from the countless people I have talked with over the years as well as from my professional experience as a publisher working with Catholic bookstores and so on. Ever since I taught parochial middle school English and religion, I’ve been on a bit of a mission in this regard. Add to that the years (decades, really) that I’ve watched my good friend devour her Protestant fiction books (not just one or two a year but many—all the while being a working mother of four) and I continue to feel a passion for getting great Catholic fiction books into homes, schools, and parishes.

 It is a tough market to crack—to say the least.

 So when I recently taped an episode of Journey Home with Marcus Grodi, you can only imagine how my heart sang when he began talking about the great value of Catholic fiction! We spent the first part of the show (to air August 26th) talking about my experiences in the Jewish culture as a young teen and how those experiences profoundly affected me as an adult Catholic—and how those experiences have made their way into my own writing.

While we talked about how Catholic fiction can feed us in a different way—and even sometimes in a deeper way—I forgot all about the cameras on us. It was a private conversation between two passionate Catholic fiction writers sharing an excitement for the ways Catholic fiction can bless the reader.

 On the desk, in front of Marcus, were my two fiction books. Right there on the desk! No matter how you look at it, it was a blessing to me in my own endeavors as a Catholic writer and publisher; but mostly it was a wonderful, timely confirmation from Heaven above that great Catholic fiction books are important for Catholic adults.

 My prayer is that the Journey Home episode will encourage Catholic adults to find, read, and relish Catholic fiction—and not just once in a while but to really get immersed in how Catholic fiction books can continuously feed your soul when they are part of your own journey home!

 I hope you will get a chance to peek in on that conversation when the episode airs on August 26th and that your reading will always include great Catholic fiction.


In the meantime, I’d love to recommend a few titles to get you started in the world of Catholic fiction…

· The Story of Peace by Miriam Ezeh

 · He Shall be Peace by Jennifer Franks

 · After The Fall by Clara Fleischmann

 · The Great Hospice Mystery by William Serdahely

 · The two books I’ve written that we talk about on the Journey Home episode are:

 o Elizabeth: A Holy Land Pilgrimage

 o Miriam: Repentance and Redemption in Rome 

Cheryl Dickow
www.BezalelBooks.com

Mother-in-Laws

I love Marie Barone in the sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond.

Sure she’s a bit meddlesome.

Admittedly she’s even a tad overbearing.

Maybe she’s even off-putting to some.

But her motivation is pure.

She’s committed to her family. She really never puts herself first—even if we are led to believe that she does. If we are really paying attention, her scheming is done to ensure that her family is safe and sound and well-fed.

No matter what, it is always important that they eat. As a mother of three sons, I get how my own feeling of peace is tied to the care and feeding of my boys—and so I instinctively understand why Marie is forever handing food to whomever walks through the door. “Are you hungry, dear?” she asks while handing over a plate—without any regard to the answer.

Now, as my own sons grow older and the prospects of one day becoming a mother-in-law myself become a real possibility, I take note of mothers-in-law in a new way. And Marie Barone is at the top of my list.

I’ve got to admit, I think she’s great.

But she does give me pause. It is a daunting thought to recognize that my own quirks and traits and defects will be borne by future daughters-in-law who enter the family. These young women won’t be required to love or honor me through sheer genetic material.

And that worries me a bit. After all, I see how often Marie is misunderstood.

She makes me wonder if my future daughters-in-law may expect me to be a more perfect version of their own mother. My head starts swirling when I think of mother-in-law-hood.

If being a mother is a difficult task, how much more so being a mother-in-law?

My own mother-in-law has been a real blessing to me. She has loved and welcomed me but has also respected my own boundaries and decisions as a mother. I’m sure she was very worried in the first decade or so. She didn’t always hide her concern if I was taking good care of her precious son—which may well have boiled down to if I was feeding him; but all in all, I think she’s pleased with the job I’ve done almost three decades later.

Throughout the years, she has often told me how fortunate I am to have married her son. I’m not sure I always agreed (hey, he was lucky, too!) but now that my own sons are young men, I totally get that sentiment. I see my sons growing into wonderful young men who take their work seriously, have goals and ambition, are kind and respectful to everyone—and I know that their future wives will be blessed, indeed.

I realize that I may even have to voice that fact now and again. I’m entitled, right?

Regardless of what the future holds in my life as a mother-in-law, I am grateful to Marie Barone. No excuses, just commitment. Take it or leave it.

Whatever you do, though, please make sure to eat.

 Cheryl Dickow

www.BezalelBooks.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Becoming a Saint One Day at a Time

God calls us each to holiness, to sainthood.

Every day, each experience we have helps us grow in our faith and in our purpose: To achieve holiness; to become saints; to fully become the person God intends us to be.

Each experience, then, has the potential to be “purgative.” Purgation is a process that gets us ready for God. Just as God’s grace was given to the martyrs, so it is given to us to grow in holiness and towards sainthood.

 In this process, it is imperative to see God as the Potter and know that we are the clay. Each experience, then, is given over to God for His guidance and our growth. Sainthood means allowing God to mold us just as a Potter molds clay. (Isaiah 64:7)

Everything we experience is an opportunity to grow in our holiness. God can “make us worthy and powerfully bring to fulfillment every good purpose” by giving us circumstances that cause us to depend on Him, to trust in Him, and to respond according to His will

In other words, through our circumstances we allow God to mold us into a loving, forgiving, humble person versus a bitter, frustrated, angry person. (2 Thessalonians 2:11-12)

During this process, our passions can take us places that we may not have ever dreamed of and thus do things that are completely unique to each of us. In these places we cannot be lukewarm Catholics—we are expected to be on fire for our faith so that God can use us to build up the kingdom! In this the Year of Faith, it is important to ask God to ignite our passions so that you can serve Him. It is time to pray that God saves us from a lukewarm existence where we neither serve Him nor grow in our holiness.  (Revelation 3:15-16)

We each have received different blessings from God. Maybe we have good health or we have a rewarding career. Is intelligence or a great marriage our blessing? God’s blessings are another way that we can grow in holiness towards our sainthood. For God to mold us into sainthood with our blessings, we have to actively offer them back to God. We have to honor God with them. They aren’t meant to stockpile but to serve.  (Proverbs 3:5-10)

For many of us, the most profound way that God is able to mold us is through our sufferings and our struggles. In our weakest, most vulnerable moments, when there seems to be no hope nor any other solution, we crawl to the foot of the cross and lay our cares upon Christ who died for us. Oftentimes, before we make that journey to the cross, we mistakenly think we are able to take care of ourselves and thus miss the opportunities to grow in holiness and towards sainthood. (2 Corinthians 12:10)

When we are pleading for God to reach down from heaven and touch us—and give us “signs”—it is probably time to take a step back and look at the people with whom our paths have crossed. God uses all the people—family and friends and critics and adversaries alike—to mold us. Each person has been placed in our life for a reason: to grow in holiness and become a saint. Whether the person has put a stone in our path making it more difficult, or has removed one, each person can help us each reach our goal of sainthood! (Mark 16:2-6)

In all things, through all circumstances, and throughout each day, God desires each of us to grow in holiness towards sainthood. This can only happen when we allow Him to be the Potter and recognize that we are the clay.

Cheryl Dickow

www.BezalelBooks.com